#every so often someone is like. hey Kate I’m going over the budget and do we need to keep paying the Doctor

[cipher-fresh]

I do have to object to the novelization of the Giggle saying that the Doctor bought his own house in London with his UNIT salary. The Doctor would never be responsible enough to vacuum or buy groceries and stuff. The Doctor should be the Noble family’s unemployed housecat who wakes up at 12 noon every day and plays video games on the couch

[socialattractionuk]

The complicated art of sliding into your crush’s DMs

The person you have a crush on is leaving fire emojis on your Instagram selfies, they like all your tweets, and they comment on your Snapchat Stories.

There is only one thing to do now: Slide into their inbox.

When you want to turn a boy into a boyfriend or that flirtationship into a relationship, the inbox is the sacred place for the transition.

Unlike dating apps, social media pivots us towards those with similar interests without the expectation and pressures of sex as the end goal.

We’re all online now so it makes sense that just as we chat and form connections on the internet, we flirt there, too. After all, it’s much easier to drop someone a line on Facebook than it is to walk up to them in a bar.

Online, the fear of rejection is muted and the saturation of choices make it easier to simply move on.

We’ve heard horror stories of direct messages (DMs) going wrong but also success stories of people who have slid into someone’s inbox and ended up in a relationship.

So, what sets a good DM apart from a bad one? When is a good time to make the move?

This could be you (Picture: Andrew Stanifer)

There are upsides to sticking to an inbox: it’s always available, rejections are less awkward and you can hit up multiple suitors.

Andrew, from South Carolina, met his now-fiancee Kate when she slid into his DMs.

He tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Four years ago, my fiancée (as of yesterday) DMed me after we had gone back and forth liking each other’s photos.

‘It took three messages for me to know that I had to take her out on a date, so we set up a coffee date. After that day, there was never any doubt in our minds that we were made for each other.

It all started with a DM (Picture: Andrew Stanifer)

‘In the next years, we had an on again and off again relationship. But we always found our way back to each other.

‘This past week I took her to the beach with our families and proposed to her on the sand. She is and always has been my best friend, and we joke around all the time how it started with a DM.’

Andrew explains that inbox entry doesn’t have to start with a corny pick-up line. For him, Kate’s simple ‘hey there’ did the trick.

And she said yes (Picture: Andrew Stanifer)

For Dominic and Gabriel, from Indiana, one little inbox bridged the distance between them.

Dominic tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Gabriel lived two hours away from me and we both followed each other on Instagram.

‘I liked so many of his pictures and he returned the favour. I waited for him to slide in my DMs but he didn’t so I waited a few days then slid into his.

‘We hit it off right away. Within two weeks he was driving two hours to see me every weekend. Then after three months, he moved down to where I stay and we got our first apartment together. We’ve been together since then.’

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Cami, from Miami, tells us the Twitter inbox was a convenient medium, but she would have approached her now-girlfriend Nicole without it, too.

‘Nicole was a friend of a friend and I knew of her but we had never met,’ says Cami, ‘she was in a relationship for a while.

‘So one day I realised all her stuff with her ex was deleted and she didn’t seem to still be in a relationship.

‘I followed her on twitter and I DMed her, and from there we kept talking. We went on a date and have been together ever since.

‘For me DMs are not necessarily easier because if I saw Nicole in person I would’ve gone up to her the same way.

‘But it is definitely easier in the sense that I don’t need to rely on running into her someday somehow. It’s less complicated and quicker.’

Nicole (left) and Cami started chatting on Twitter first (Picture: camisarriaa/Twitter)

Though there is anecdotal evidence to suggest that inbox flirting leads to finding ‘someone to be silly with’, there are horror stories, too.

Cole tells us how his attempt to effortlessly strike up a conversation went wrong.

‘I once DMed a girl who I had been crushing on for months, the convo started well until she said I should send in my account details,’ he says.

‘I asked her for what and she said so she can send me money to transport myself out of her DMs. My heart is shattered.’

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As heartbreaking as it is to send messages and be rejected, it can also be annoying to receive them.

Melanie was left with a lot of questions after a guy entered her messages to offer to take her around the world.

She tells us: ‘He asked me where I was from and I said I was a citizen of the planet, to which he responded that he thought I was an alien because I’m too beautiful for this world.

‘The thing that baffles me the most is how did this guy find me? And does that kind of thing really work? And what did he really want? Was he trying to get money, or was he just a troll?’

How to perfectly slide into DMs

Relationship expert and vice president of Dating.com Maria Sullivan says: ‘Depending on the way you start off the conversation, DMing can be seen as a creepy turnoff. Make sure you take the time to think about the flirtatious message you want to send.

‘Don’t go too far or you might send the wrong signals.’

‘Though we’re more reluctant to approach people face to face, there are advantages to our old-fashioned ways.’

‘An emoji or a few words are not capable of showcasing your style, personality or tone of voice.

‘Approaching someone in real life lets the person automatically determine if the spark is there or not. Engaging with someone online is never a sure fire way to tell if you will mesh well with them in reality.’

Maria Sullivan explains why we receive and send so many DMs, telling us: ‘People are fearless in attempting to court a potential partner when they are protected behind a screen. Being left on read is much less devastating than verbal rejection. For this reason, flirtatious and unwarranted direct messages on social platforms are frequent.

‘Nick Jonas even DMed his now wife upon first communication!’

But why is the inbox slide often so successful?

Maria explains: ‘Just as being rejected behind a screen is less intimidating than being turned away in person, initiating flirtatious conversation online has less repercussion and is easier to navigate.

‘You can think about your response before sending it and decide to move forward with meeting up if you please. This is why online dating is extremely popular today.’

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Of course, the DM slide does have its limitations. Not all networking site inboxes are for romantic connection. Definitely not the LinkedIn inbox, for example. Never the LinkedIn inbox.

Despite the unpleasant interactions with strangers from all corners of the world, the DM is still sacred, a unique space that can foster relationships without any expectations.

So for those of us afraid of walking up to a perfect stranger to chat them up or ever confronting our crushes, the inbox will always be a safe space.

And if the DM goes wrong, you can always ignore, delete, block and forget it ever happened. Sadly you can’t do that in real life.

If your DMs are as closed off as your heart, it might be time to open up.

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